12 Tough Truths that Help You Grow

WRITTEN by MARC CHERNOFF //

As you look back on your life, you will often realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected from something good, you were in fact being redirected to something better.  You can’t control everything.  Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out.  Let go a little and just let life happen.  Because sometimes the truths you can’t change, end up changing you and helping you grow.

Here are twelve such truths…

1. Everything is as it should be.  It’s crazy how you always end up where you’re meant to be – how even the most tragic and stressful situations eventually teach you important lessons that you never dreamed you were going to learn.  Remember, oftentimes when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place.
2. Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your true self.  Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want.  The second step is leaving the life you don’t want.  Making a big life change is pretty scary.  But you know what’s even scarier?  Regret.  Vision without action is a daydream, and action without vision is a nightmare.  Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.  (Read Awaken the Giant Within.)
3. It’s usually the deepest pain which empowers you to grow to your full potential.  It’s the scary, stressful choices that end up being the most worthwhile.  Without pain, there would be no change.  But remember, pain, just like everything in life, is meant to be learned from and then released.
4. One of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or take another step forward.  If you catch yourself in a cycle of trying to change someone, or defending yourself against someone who is trying to change you, walk away.  But if you are pursuing a dream, take another step.  And don’t forget that sometimes this step will involve modifying your dream, or planning a new one – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream.
5. You have to take care of yourself first.  Before befriending others, you have to be your own friend.  Before correcting others, you have to correct yourself.  Before making others happy, you have to make yourself happy.  It’s not called selfishness, it’s called personal development.  Once you balance yourself, only then can you balance the world around you.  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things, Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
6. One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you.  As long as you are worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them.  Only when you require no approval from outside yourself, can you own yourself.
7. You may need to be single for awhile before you realize that, although the co-owned belongings from your failed relationships might not have been divided equally, the issues that destroyed the relationships likely were.  For how can you stand confidently alone, or see the same issues arising in your newest relationship, and not realize which broken pieces belong to you?  Owning your issues, and dealing with them, will make you far happier in the long run, than owning anything else in this world.
8. The only thing you can absolutely control is how you react to things out of your control.  The more you can adapt to the situations in life, the more powerful your highs will be, and the more quickly you’ll be able to bounce back from the lows in your life.  Put most simply: being at peace means being in a state of complete acceptance of all that is, right here, right now.
9. Some people will lie to you.  Remember, an honest enemy is better than a friend who lies.  Pay less attention to what people say, and more attention to what they do.  Their actions will show you the truth, which will help you measure the true quality of your relationship in the long-term.
10. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough.  If you are thankful for what you do have, you will end up having even more.  Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul.  Abundance is not about how much you have, it’s how you feel about what you have.  When you take things for granted, your happiness gets taken away.  (Read The Happiness Project.)
11. Yes, you have failed in the past.  But don’t judge yourself by your past, you don’t live there anymore.  Just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn’t mean you won’t be there someday.  You can turn it all around in the blink of an eye by making a simple choice to stand back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.
12. Everything is going to be alright; maybe not today, but eventually.  There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong.  And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t.  Sure the sun stops shining sometimes, and you may get a huge thunderstorm or two, but eventually the sun will come out to shine.  Sometimes it’s just a matter of us staying as positive as possible in order to make it to see the sunshine break through the clouds again.

Photo by: Martin Gommel